Saturday, October 23, 2010

She Gave Everything To Me

It's funny how easily I have forgotten that I didn't give birth to Ren.  We are just living life with our daughter like she has always been with us.  But the truth is, she hasn't.  There were almost 22 months of her life that I missed.  I wasn't there when she was born, or when she was abandoned on a cold day in December.  But there was one person who was there, her birth mom.  How she loved her enough to leave her, I will never know.  I haven't taken a lot of time to think about her lately. But in the last few days I have had some special alone time with Ren.  She has been waking up early from her nap.  So we have rocked and snuggled.  And I have stared into her big brown eyes, and it hit me that there was someone else who looked into those eyes, her birth mom. When Ren gets old enough to ask about her birth mom, I am going to assure her that she was loved.  Her "mother" loved her so much that she gave her life.  There is a song by Christian artist, Mark Schultz, (who is adopted), called, "Everything To Me".  It's a song he wrote to his birth mom.  The song says, "when you gave me up, you gave everything to me". That's exactly how I feel.  I get to look into those big, brown, eyes for the rest of my life.  I get to hear her call me "mama!" about 100 times a day.  I get to wipe her tears and hear her laugh.  I get to watch her sleep while she makes that sweet little sucking sound.  For forever, I get to be her mom.  One thing is for sure, when Ren's birth mom gave her up, she gave everything to me! 

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Our "New" Normal

Jammie Time!
Ren is wearing her mommy's jammies from when she was a little girl.
It is hard to believe that we have been home from China for four weeks now.  It seems like our trip to China was so long ago and that Ren has always been with us.  Everyone is always asking us how we are doing.  I am glad to say that we are doing well.  Though I have to admit the  first weeks home were pretty rough.  Everyone seemed to be adjusting fine; except for me!  Laughter, tears, fits, sleep deprivation, complete exhaustion....I felt just like I did each time I brought home a new baby.  I think what made it worse was that I thought I would come home and life would be "life as usual", which is hilarious to me, now.  Why I thought I would bring a new child home, from the other side of the world, and introduce her to her new crazy family, without any difficulty, I will never know.  And you know what?  Life never has returned to "life as usual".  As my dear friend Shari said, it will take some time to adjust to your "new" normal.  And she was right.  We are not only adjusting to our "new" normal, we are celebrating it!

I thought I would share some pics from the last few weeks.  Little Miss Ren is ruling the Griffin house!!

Cousin Milli, Henry, & Ren


Ty is an awesome big brother!

Big brother Henry tickling Ren!

Checking out Pawpaw Dino's phone.

Kisses from Grammy!